Maggi+Jarvis

Journal One

In my first semester of college I experienced many changes in my life. Some were big changes that were difficult to adapt to, while others were as small as taking private lessons for saxophone. I am a music major, but this is my first year in a private lesson situation. In the beginning of my lessons I struggled quite a bit. I did not feel as though I as at the same level as the other players, even though I put in as much work. In my eyes, I saw the instructor putting me at the same level as the others even though I lacked the experience. This frustrated me because I thought I was being pushed too hard to catch up.

During one of my lessons I began to mess up simple things and I knew were both frustrated. The more I played wrong the angrier I got and the harder it was to focus. After a short time my instructor stopped me from playing and began to lecture. He lectured to me for the majority of my lesson and I walked away puzzled and upset by the situation. Near tears, I went to my friend to tell him what had happened. Seeing how upset I was, he game sympathy, but also made me realize what had actually happened. When I explained to him what occurred, I only expressed the hurtful parts of what my instructor said. My friend asked me if that was all my instructor said, or if I failed to hear the good part of the lecture. I thought back and realized I had pushed away everything nice he said because I was hurt by the bad.

From the experience I learned that my instructor was not trying to put me down. He said what he needed to get me to work harder. In the long run, he was pushing me forward in my choice of major. The lecture did include things that hurt my feelings, but there were also many encouraging statements that I pushed aside to hear only what I wanted. I thought my instructor to be a cruel person who judged me before he knew me. While actually I was doing just that. I now know that I should listen to everything said before I allow myself to be hurt by criticism.